Thursday, April 8, 2010

Together - Magpie # 9

one long version and one short version or version of a Haiku? for my Son

How do you explain
having never seen her face
and yet I know the shape of her lips,
the color shine so bright
even on a cloudy day
in the air lingers sweetly her perfume,
 

As I sit by the edge of the forest
listening to the wind make music,
water ripples slowly by
my vision becomes hazy
dreamy images float in the mist
 

As I step through to a timeless place
while all doubts gave way to possibilities
where we once walked together in this fairy tale kingdom
image from La Belle Dame Sans Merci.Based upon a poem by John Keats
Where Kings and Queens Rule
there was a knight for every fair maiden
and ne'er a dragon was slain
  I find the simplest answers awakened
to the force of nature pulsing through me,
feeling oneness 
with milady's shining lips and sweet perfume
Fin 

Chocolate covered lips
dripping chins with fudge surprise
laughing and dancing with no music in a water colored sky 

Visit Magpie Tales to read what wonderful Tales other writers and poets have spun using this photo prompt. http://magpietales.blogspot.com

31 comments:

  1. I have used this picture with my Year 11 English class over the years to do an activity just like this! Isn't the picture beautiful, as are all the other pictures about la belle dame sans merci! Look at her red hair!

    This is wonderful-I love it!

    Best wishes,
    Natasha.

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  2. Phew!! I need a cold shower now Joanny...that was deliciously delovely!
    You swept me away to the land of long ago...I love your poem...
    And the delectable little surprise at the end too.."Chocolate covered lips dripping chins with fudge surprise" ... Mmmm I like that!

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  3. Chocolate is better than... Love your chilvarous tale of Arthurian legend fame. Very romantic! If only love could be like this; it can be like this obviously, because you wrote of this long ago love. I just missed the boat! I should have gotten more romantic! Remember me Sir Lancelot in your dreams at least?

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  4. Lovely poem -- with a nice chocolate finish.

    I'm working on a rather different take on the prompt -- may not link as I don't have time to visit everyone

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  5. Love those lines. But that does not follow the haiku pattern (5-7-5) is it not ? None the less it was very well done.

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  6. Love the Haiku, just love it Joanny.
    This line is powerful - "I find the simplest answers awakened
    to the force of nature pulsing through me,
    feeling oneness"...
    Beautiful romantic imagery.
    These lines bring forth feelings of tranquility and peace:
    "I sit by the edge of the forest
    listening to the wind make music,
    water ripples slowly by"...
    Lovely, well done.

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  7. Natasha -- Yes I agree a good prompt to use for teaching in your class room and a "belle dame sans merci" is a beautiful painting. thanks for dropping by.

    Katherine -- you make me blush my dear -- and your Magpie # 9 was a WOWZA too, loved it.

    chiccoreal said... "I should have gotten more romantic! Remember me Sir Lancelot in your dreams at least?"

    I will send him your way -- I have my eyes on Sean Connery as King Arthur in First Knight.

    Vicki Lane said..."I'm working on a rather different take on the prompt -- may not link as I don't have time to visit everyone"

    Thanks Vicki always love your comments -- and I will be sure to visit -- I know it is going to be a special piece and I do not want to miss it.

    Blue Mist said ..."Love those lines. But that does not follow the haiku pattern: (5-7-5)

    Yes I break or bend rules --- I presented the exact essence of the poem -- although I could have tightened it even more to be more traditional. So True. But I figure when something comes out the blue in a flash - you need to write it down and let it be. It came to me when I was adding the magpie photo prompt and wrapping it up.

    For those who do or do not know
    Haiku-poems consist of respectively 5, 7 and 5 syllables in three units. In Japanese, this convention is a must, but in English, which has variation in the length of syllables, this can sometimes be difficult.

    *Please notice that Haiku-poems are written under different rules and in many languages. For translated Haiku-poems, the translator must decide whether he should obey the rules strictly, or if he should present the exact essence of the Haiku.

    SUN DANCE HILL said... Love the Haiku, just love it Joanny.
    This line is powerful - "I find the simplest answers awakened
    to the force of nature pulsing through me,
    feeling oneness"...

    Thank You Sun Dance Hill-- your comments are appreciated, welcomed and always so kind.

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  8. dripping chins with fudge surprise

    My favorite line - gets the joy, messiness, and spontaneity :)

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  9. I like them both, but as a chocoholic, my preference is the second one. Which reminds me, I just got some Ben and Jerry's on sale-Chunky Monkey—my favourite!

    Thanks for visiting and for your generous comment.

    Kat

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  10. Kat said: "just got some Ben and Jerry's on sale-Chunky Monkey—my favourite!:

    well Kat, I think Willow should make that the next magpie tale #10 -- Chunky Monkey, I wonder if it is on sale here in the NW? My son likes the second one , too -- text message age -- so I text him the poems.

    Joanny

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  11. Beautiful. The imagery in your words is striking and dilectably delicious -- the chocolate lips, the chin dripping fudge surprise, the laughing and dancing with no music in the water color sky...

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  12. beautifully written! and Keats, sigh, my all time favorite.

    have you seen Bright Star? It's a must see dvd.

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  13. I enjoy your work - most especially the Haiku.
    That chocolate ending is delicious.

    Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting.

    Diana

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  14. Lovely use of the prompt and of your words, Joanny.

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  15. A sweet read and smashing haiku-ish piece! Nice, nice!

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  16. Thanks everyone you all make me blush

    Tumblewords said "smashing haiku-ish piece"
    I like that -- I know it is not Haiku but it is certainly "ish"

    Joanny

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  17. Joany,
    Lipstick inspires romance, and poetry. Your toughts paint a picture as inspiring as your photo.
    If e'er there is love
    'Tis the poet, eruditely
    with words to inspire.

    rel

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  18. Wonderful poetry to accompany the bewitching scene - La Belle Dame Sans Merci. Very nice. I love the chocolate imagery as well.

    Harvee
    Book Dilettante

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  19. What can possibly be better than chocolate covered lips?

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  20. This is so romantic! And I just love the little touch of chocolaty deliciousness at the end.

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  21. both of those are fantastic...i love the fairy tale and the water color sky...wow. both so nicely done...

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  22. Both versions are great, but the second is my favorite. Love the visual imagery.

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  23. Chocolate covered lips
    dripping chins...I can almost taste this one! Lovely words, imagery.

    xo,
    Terresa

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  24. There's such a dreamlike quality to all your writing, Joanny. This is like a voice-over to a soft-focus idyllic documentary.

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  25. love the opening,
    face,
    lips,
    what beautiful magpie!
    Happy Tuesday!

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  26. http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/04/13/because-she-is-plain-magpie-tale/

    I wrote my first one,
    Happy Day!

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  27. you are such a romantic!
    good good good

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  28. amazing! first we are off to a faraway land filled with knights and fair maidens and then we get chocolate too!! Just wonderful! Thank you!

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  29. Nice & dreamy. I think my favorite part is that no dragons were killed!

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  30. Redolent with beauty, sensuality and mysticism. The painting is the perfect accompaniment.

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